Fantastic Fifteen #8 and #9

Hello happy people! :)

Since it's past midnight and I owe you a quote for before and after midnight, I shall give you readers two quotes to ponder on.

NUMBER Eight :

"When ANGRY, count to TEN before you speak. If VERY Angry, count to one HUNDRED."

~ Thomas Jefferson

We all have said things we never meant to someone who means plenty to us. Be it on the regular basis, or one particular scenario in the past, we all have gone through this type of situation. Well, I can say for sure I have. And although these fights always had a funny ending, or cute, or romantic, it somehow made the person I had a fight with, and myself closer. Nonetheless, we should all be careful about what we say when we are triggered.

There is this mechanism inside us, it's innate, inexplicable but when someone somehow triggers your choler, your response is to hurt back. This is something I have learnt from the past, and I am now proud to say that I never intend to hurt anyone, even if I am the most mad I could ever be and someone said something that did not please me at all. If you're mad, either find an understanding with the other party, calm yourself down and think about what your feelings are pushing you to say, but what makes more sense to say. And if you don't fully understand what's going on yourself, don't say anything at all. My mechanism is the "shut down" mechanism. If I get mad, I don't say something that would hurt the other party. I either try to explain myself or I completely give up on the situation. When I try to explain myself, this is me counting to 10. Patiently trying to rationalize my train of thoughts. And when I give up and stop talking, this is me counting to a hundred. Why get carried away if the conversation obviously would lead no where?

My point is, you have the right to be mad. Whether you're right or wrong, if you are mad, you are already mad. Afterwards, you would calm down and either realize how stupid your reaction was or you would learn from what made you mad and, for example, not hang out with those people who made you mad or avoid the topic that made you mad. However, you may be mad, but remember the golden rule too. Treat others like you would want to be treated. Don't diss the other party, you know you would never mean it and it's just anger talking. Why hurt the person standing in front of you if what brought that person in front of you is probably because you fancy them, like spending time with them, value them.

So don't be foolish. Be nice even when you're mad.

Your girl out there, who's mad at herself and her surrounding at the moment,

xoxo

NUMBER Nine :

"If you Change the Way you look at Things, the Things you look at Change."

~ Wayne Dyer

Everything in life has different angles, different sides to it. A building, a tree, a car, a story. But also there's more profound than that.

Perspectives is a big thing in our daily life and in our mindset and happiness.

If one keeps being negative, everything he looks at will seem pointless, loaded with flaws and would only trigger complaints. However, if you look at something you usually dislike, try to open up more. Try to open up to its possible nice sides, nice aspects. You'll soon realize that, in fact, you do not dislike it as much. This could apply to the smallest matter as a fruit you would usually avoid eating (for me it was avocados) to a job that you hate (not applicable since I love anything I do).

The only reason I used to eat avocados as a kid was because we were allowed to sprinkle them with sugar as accompaniment. And I was/am a sugar addict. My share of the avocado was a mine filled with sugar crystals: you had to dig through it to see the green colour of the flesh of the avocado. However, as I grew up, I noticed so many people liked eating that fruit plain. So I figured, there should be something good about it. So I opened up to new experiments with that fruit. Sushi with avocado for example, isn't that a delight? Avocado in salads, come on...lettuce and avocados should be best friends. And oh lord, don't get me started on guacamole.

Another little meaningful anecdote in my past was in primary school. I suffered from growing pain when I was a kid, and my mom could not afford to buy the other type of uniform which were the pants for winter. I just had the regular shirts and skirt. However, the colour for the uniform was navy blue. So when my knees would hurt, my mom made me wear those pants, so I would not get cold, otherwise it made my pain worse. But every time that happened, I would get called to the principal's office and get a warning. Eventually, my mom got called at school and she was told to provide her daughter with the required uniform. She refused and brought a doctor's note about my condition. The next morning, I showed up with those non-uniform navy blue pants. And of course, out of 1000+ kids, the principal spotted me during the assembly. That lady, whom we used to call the witch for obvious reasons, suddenly stopped the recital of prayers and announced in the microphone : "Someone bring a chair for that little girl to sit." She then made unnecessary comments about my situation, and for some weeks after that, I was humiliated every morning sitting in front of thousand kids who had to stand in the scorching sun, singing the national anthem and reciting prayers.

The first day I cried. This was so humiliating. I hated my mom, the witch, the uniform, everything.

The next few days, I realized...goddamn. I can be sitting like a princess, and I did not even ask for it. People would think I am special when in fact it's just a power trip behaviour because of a stupid fight between my mom and the principal. I was just a tool here. And I could either sulk in my corner and play the victim or take in the advantages and be special. And the latter I did.

The mind is a powerful weapon, against others and for yourself. If you master it, you can change so many things.

So go out there, work out that mind of yours, till you become your own master and let your look change bad things into the best of them all.

Your girl out here or out there, all depends at how you're looking at it,

xoxo